dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
