And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
