After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
