ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We had to coat check the pizza.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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