you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
