i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
