i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need water and some morals
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
