So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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