Just fell off a train. Bad.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
