He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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