I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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