dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
