Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
