In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
