I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
