You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
