ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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