Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
