Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
