The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
