i think my tv is drunk
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
