What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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