is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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