it was like his penis was on wheels.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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