my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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