idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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