Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I love having hate sex.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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