I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
wow bdsm is so cute
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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