the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
