I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
