i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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