Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
