Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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