hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
