Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
