I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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