she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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