I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
