you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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