Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
