i think my tv is drunk
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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