their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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