Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Randomize
