Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
