dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
