it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
