Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
