Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
