I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
