She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
