dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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