Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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