I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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