What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
