i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize