i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
