Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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