oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
