my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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