I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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