Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
