my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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