I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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