How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
